


Don't Touch the Hair

by ausmac



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausmac/pseuds/ausmac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrosh finds out that the Regent Lord is considering switch sides.  He suggests punishment and the elves argue about it.  The sort of crackfic that comes to one on a cold and rainy night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Touch the Hair

**Author's Note:**

> alternatedoom mentioned a liking for Lor'themar/with just about anyone stories. This sort of qualifies (:

By some means – probably a goblin with a big mouth – the Warchief had discovered that the leader of the Blood Elves was considering shifting sides.  Although unsurprised, since Garrosh considered Blood Elves a pimple on the face of the Horde, he was still enraged by it.  He called the Regent Lord and a senior adviser in for a meeting, and as soon as they walked through the door he had them overwhelmed and bound and hauled before him in this throne room.

Despite being slightly battered, bruised and ruffled, Lor’themar Theron could still turn on the Aloof.  While he didn’t glare at Garrosh and gave no sign of fear, he just wore the look of an elf with somewhere else to be.

“So, Elf, what’s this I hear about you switching sides?”

“You must be mistaken.”  The tone dripped scorn.  “Whoever told you that was obviously seeking to aggrandise himself in your eyes.”

Garrosh’s eyes narrowed.  He hated it when people used big words at him, he never knew if they were just being mouthy or hiding an insult.  “I’ve more than one source.  So don’t try to deny it.”

“Then why ask me?”  Lor’themar’s tone was just short of triggering a punch in the face.  In fact, Garrosh decided it wasn’t short at all, and punched him in the face.

“You need to learn some manners.”  He stalked around the Regent Lord, and fingered the long fall of his silver white hair.  That got a reaction.

“Please do not touch the hair.”

Garrosh grabbed handful of it and yanked.  “You mean like that?”

Lor’themar’s glare was icy.  “I suppose, being bald yourself, you feel the need to share the experience.”

An elf was just about everything an Orc wasn’t.  They were delicate.  They had much higher and pointier ears.  They smelled good.  He wondered if they tasted as good as they smelled.   He leaned over the Regent Lord’s shoulder and licked his neck.

Lor’themar turned his head slowly and his single eyelid drooped.  “That’s quite the most repulsive thing anyone has ever done to me.”

“You have must have limited experience with repulsive things then.  Perhaps I can expand your experience for you.”

Lor’themar sighed.  “Please don’t tell me you intend to rape me.  I don’t wish to expand anything that far.”

Garrosh recognised the double meaning and mentally gave the Regent Lord points.  “Well I might.  But I think I’ll get him,” he finished, pointing at the other elf, “to fuck you instead.”

Lor’themar’s lips rose in a half smile.  “If you’re thinking along the lines of getting a loyal and loving servant to abuse and degrade me, to the heart-rending anguish of both,  that wouldn’t work.  Grand Magister Rommath doesn’t even like me.” 

Grand Magister Rommath’s eyebrows rose slightly in affirmation.

Garrosh was unconvinced.  “I hear you two have been together for years.  He’s your closest adviser.  You telling me he isn’t a friend?  Like a Really Good Friend?”

“ Rommath?  Not while there are a few thousand other Blood Elves alive to choose from.  Is your closest adviser a friend?” Lor’themar shrugged.  “In any event, as I said, it wouldn’t work very well.  He’d probably prefer to see you rape me.”

The Grand Magister appeared to be about to say something, then stopped himself, and continued to look icily disinterested.  Garrosh was getting annoyed, and considered alternatives.

“I know, I have an Undead soldier around here somewhere.  I’ll get him to rape you.”

“That’s disgusting even for an Orc.  If that’s the choice, I’ll take you.  At least you won’t fall apart half way through the act.”

Garrosh realised he’d been lured into conversation, and ground his teeth against his tusks.  He walked back to Lor’themar and grabbed his ear.  “You’re being way too mouthy for my liking, Elf.  You can come to my bed and I’ll try and put that over-active tongue to better use.”

Lor’themar winced and cast an annoyed glance at Rommath.  “You could have offered to take my place.”

“I don’t get paid enough.  In fact,” the Grand Magister said thoughtfully, “I don’t get paid anything at all.”

Garrosh shook his head in frustration as he dragged the twitching Regent Lord from the room.  Nothing like an elf to ruin a perfectly good debasement.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to take a look at my Live Journal WoW story and fic recommendation community at http://wowwords.livejournal.com/


End file.
